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INHisSteps Life Style Development
Anger: What Is It? and Why?
The definition of anger is: Strong emotion or feeling of displeasure. Can range from slight irritation to Rage.
The reality is that anger is neither good or bad. Anger is a neutral emotion with a specific purpose in our psyches.
It is a God-given emotion that warns us of a real or perceived threat to ourselves
. It is also an early warning detection system that informs us of a need to change an undesirable situation.
Physiologically, anger is a fight or flight response to stressors or threats.
These stressors might be real (a child ruins their new clothes) or perceived to be real (the thought that a child is going to ruin their clothes by running around outside).
The mind does not discriminate between the two.
ANGER
short-circuits your reasoning powers. Whether you "fly off the handle" or repress your rage, your anger can compound an already unstable situation. You may hurt someone, even emotionally, who was formerly not involved with your anger- causing problem.
If you already suffer from high blood
pressure, unresolved anger can push it dangerously higher.
Denial or suppression of your anger can lead to low self-esteem. You may feel embarrassed by a lack of control or feel anger is inappropriate in a "civilized society."
Blaming others for your anger can drive away friends or potential friends, putting you in a very lonely or depressing situation.
Anger may tempt you to avoid the
problem by seeking comfort in
unrelated and potentially unhealthy behaviors, such as
bingeing on junk foods, drinking too much, smoking,
using illegal drugs, or becoming a "couch potato".
Pent-up anger can also contribute to physical problems, such as headaches, ulcers, bowel problems, respiratory ills, skin flare-ups, lowered immunity to colds and other viruses, a constant feeling of tiredness and exhaustion, and heart attacks.
Anger-The Silent Killer Part 1
TempleBaptistChurch Michael Vestal
Sunday Nights in March 2007
Some Lies About Anger
1. A Christian does not get angry.
2. Anger must always be vented or expressed.
3. It is O.K to be angry if you just hold it inside you.
4. One has the right to be angry because someone has offended him.
5. One needs to control others by using anger.
6. I am not angry, just a bit irritated.
Over 400 verses speaks about Anger
Prov 16 A fool's wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame. (KJV)
Prov 17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated. (KJV)
Prov 29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly. (KJV)
Prov 15:1 1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (KJV)
Prov 29:22 22 An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression. (KJV)
Ps 37:8 8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. (KJV)
Matt 22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. (KJV)
Eph 26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: (KJV)
Eph 4:31 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (KJV)
Col 3:8 8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. (KJV)
James 1:19-20 19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. (KJV)
Anger short-circuits your reasoning powers. Whether you "fly off the handle" or repress your rage, your anger can compound an already unstable situation
You may hurt someone even emotionally, who was formerly not involved with your anger- causing problem.
If you already suffer from high bloodpressure, unresolved anger can push it dangerously higher.
Denial or suppression of your anger can lead to low self-esteem.
You may feel embarrassed by a lack of control
Blaming others for your anger can drive away friends or potential friends, putting you in a very lonely or depressing situation.
Anger may tempt you to avoid the problem by seeking comfort in unrelated and potentially unhealthy behaviors
such as
bingeing on junk foods,
drinking,
smoking,
using illegal drugs,
or becoming a "couch potato".
such as
headaches,
ulcers,
bowel problems,
respiratory ills,
skin flare-ups,
lowered immunity to colds and other viruses,
a constant feeling of tiredness and exhaustion,
and heart attacks.
Long Term Health Effects
Anger is an intense emotion that produces an adrenalin rush.If an individual is chronically angry or has frequent bouts of anger, adrenalin is released often.This constant rise of adrenalin results in a physiologic stress that decreases your immune systems ability to ward off infections.It creates both mental and physical fatigue and leads to .
Anger: What Is It? and Why?
The definition of anger is: Strong emotion or feeling of displeasure. Can range from slight irritation to Rage.
The reality is that anger is neither good or bad.
Anger is a neutral emotion with a specific purpose in our psyches.
(Actually a Secondary Emotion)
It is a God-given emotion that warns us of a real or perceived threat to ourselves.
It is also an early warning detection system that informs us of a need to change an undesirable situation.
Physiologically, anger is a fight or flight response to stressors or threats.
These stressors might be real (a child ruins their new clothes)
or perceived to be real (the thought that a child is going to ruin their clothes by running around outside).
The mind does not discriminate between the two.
Where Does It Come From?
Anger Inside
Why We are Susceptible to Anger
Unresolved hurts (real or imagined)
World View
Learned patterns
1. Past Hurts
Situations, words can remind us of past hurts
We can lash out to prevent future hurt
We can learn the wrong lessons from past experiences
2. World View: Our Belief Structure
Life: Supposed to be fair, but isnt to me
People: Out to get me
Self: I dislike yourself and will take it out on you
God: It does not occur to me that God has a plan and is providentially overseeing my life it seems like chaos to me
3. Learned Patterns
Proverbs 22:24-25Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul.
We can grow up with anger and think its normal
We can train ourselves to use anger to manipulate people and get our way
Col 3:8 8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. (KJV)
In the Sessions to Come
DIRECT SIGNS OF ANGER:
INDIRECT SIGNS OF ANGER:
Self-Assessment
Angers Warning Signals
What to do?
Anger-The Silent Killer Part 2&3
TempleBaptistChurch Michael Vestal
Sunday Nights in March 2007
Some of the Over 400 verses that speaks about Anger
Eph 4:31 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (KJV)
Col 3:8 8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. (KJV)
James 1:19-20 19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. (KJV)
In The Anger Workbook
Carter and Minirth describe three unhealthy approaches to handling our anger.
These are styles to which we are prone because of our temperament or to which we may have learned as we grew up.
All three of these styles tend to perpetuate anger rather than facing it in a way that leads to growth.
Identifying the way in which we deal with anger is the first step toward learning how to respond in a way that pleases God.
Do you identify with any of these styles?
(If you identify with 5 or more of this style you may be demonstrating your anger in that manner)
Open Aggression
I can be blunt and forceful when someone does something to frustrate me.
As I speak my convictions, my voice becomes increasingly louder.
When someone confronts me about a problem, I am likely to offer a ready rebuttal.
When something goes wrong, I focus so sharply on fixing the problem that I overlook others' feelings.
No one has to guess my opinion; I'm known for having unwavering viewpoints.
I have a history of getting caught in bickering matches with family members.
During verbal disagreements with someone, I tend to repeat
I find it hard to keep my thoughts to myself when it is obvious that someone else is wrong.
I have a reputation for being strong-willed.
I tend to give advice, even. when others have not asked for it.
Passive Aggression
When I am frustrated, Ibecome silent, knowing it bothers other people.
I am prone to sulk andpout
When I don't want to do a project, I will procrastinate. I can be lazy.
There are times when I am deliberately evasive so others won't bother me.
I sometimes approach work projects halfheartedly
When someone talks to me about my problems I stare straight ahead, deliberately obstinate
When someone asks if Iam frustrated, I will lie andsay, "No, everything is fine.
I complain about people behind their backs but resist the opportunity to be open with them face to face
Sometimes I become involved in behind-the-scenes misbehavior.
I sometimes refuse to do someone a favor, knowing this will irritate him or her.
(If you identify with 5 or more of this style you may be demonstrating your anger in that manner)
Suppressing Anger
I am very image conscious. I don't like to let others know my problems.
Even when I feel very flustered, I portray myself publicly as having it all together
I am rather reserved about sharing my problems or frustrations.
If a family member or friend upsets me, I can let days pass without even mentioning it.
I have a tendency to be depressed and moody
Resentful thinking is common for me, although many people would never suspect it.
I have suffered with physical complaints (forexample, headaches, stomach ailments, sleep irregularity).
There are times when I wonder if my opinions or preferences are really valid.
_Sometimes I feel paralyzed when confronted by an unwanted situation.
I'm not inclined to initiate conversations about 1u- sensitive or troublesome topics.
(If you identify with 5 or more of this style you may be demonstrating your anger in that manner)
Some of the Causes of Anger
1. Unforgiveness.
Unforgiveness is probably the one major source for anger.
Unforgiveness is holding someone accountable for a past offense.
(If you identify with 5 or more of this style you may be demonstrating your anger in that manner)
Anger can be the major controlling spirit.
Note: Hebrews "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled."
2. Stress Accumulation.
We have the expression, "It was the straw that broke the back of the camel."
In reality, the straw did not break the camel's back, but the straw was added to all the other weight.
Conflict issues which are not properly handled are simply accumulated.*** The mother who was abused as a child may explode in anger with her own children when they disobey.
The anger the mother felt because of her own abuse is a heavy burden. Then when her own children become an irritation to her, the straw breaks the camel's back and the mother explodes in anger toward her own children.
The mother's anger toward her abuser is transferred to her own children.
The employee may endure a few critical words from his boss. However, after a year of criticism by the boss, the employee may explode in anger.
There may also be a series of losses or stress producing situations which produce a mental and emotional overload. The result may be anger.
3. Modeling.
Modeling is a major factor in the development of anger behavior.
Children who observe their parents exhibiting anger may grow up acting out their anger that same anger.
The anger that is glorified in the drama on T.V., movies, and videos is often translated into a set to react in the minds of many children and adults.
There is a truth in the adage,
"Monkey see, monkey do.
" Proverbs "Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go."
Furthermore animated video game of unrestricted anger, aggression, and violence implant a stage for unrestricted anger and violence to be acted out without conscious thought of what is right or the consequences of such behavior.
4. Generational Curse Of Anger.
Exodus 20:5 "Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me."
An iniquity is an inherited "bent" toward sin that is passed from one generation to the next.
As there are inherited physical traits, there are also inherited negative personality traits.
The "chip" off the old block may be a valid adage. Junior may wrestle with anger because his Dad or Mom wrestled with anger. Furthermore, Dad and Mom may have wrestled with anger because their parents and grandparents wrestled with anger.
5. Possessiveness.
Possessiveness coupled with loss or fear of loss is another major cause for anger.
Possessiveness is holding on to what one believes to be his personal right or expectation.
Therefore, when someone believe that he should have a certain job, position, or recognition, but loses or fails to receive it, the result may be anger.
If a child believes he should have a toy, but a sibling gets it instead, the result is anger.
The wife that feels that she should have the right to be appreciated by her husband, but does not receive it may get angry.
The teenager who feels he should be free to go with wherever he wants, but is grounded by his parents, may become angry.
The man who fails to live up to his self imposed expectations may get angry at himself. When anger is turned inward, it may also lead to thoughts of suicide.
One may even become angry at God when God does not live up to his expectations.
Envy is closely associated with anger because it is desire to have what someone else has.
Jealousy in contrast deals with a loss of favor and often results in rage.
6. Control-reaction.
Control-reaction is my own term for a description of a source of anger.
Quite often small children learn that they can control the situation through anger if their parents don't stop them.
The picture is that Johnny has a temper tantrum to get what he wants.
As a youth, he may become the "bully" displaying anger to control the situation. In marriage, he may use anger to control his wife and children.
Anger become a means of manipulation. Anger become a necessary friend.
7. Misunderstanding about God
At times we don't see the big picture.
We may take one look at the situation and declare that God is unfair. This view often produces anger.
Job cursed the day that he was born because of this view (Job 3:1-3).
David became very distressed when he saw the wicked prosper. He said, "When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me" (Psalm 73:16).
Jonah became very angry because he thought that God was unfair. "But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was very angry" (Jonah 4:1).
What is anger?
Websters Dictionary: a strong feeling of displeasure and, usually, antagonism
It is an emotional reaction to frustration or injury.
In some cases, anger is beneficial, as it can spur us on to take action to correct a situation, or protect us from harm.
It can be an instrument of motivation to work for positive change
Aggression
An action we take with anger or frustration against others. It can lead toemotional, physiological or socially negative consequences.
Hostility
A state of chronic anger that can lead to aggression against others.It can be verbal, physical or emotional.
Anger - The Demon Within
Acting out our anger
(e.g. yelling, hitting, throwing objects, driving too fast),
or hurting others is not a healthy,
or necessary expression of anger.
When we act out our anger we;
damage others trust in us;
create a burden of shame that we then carry;
pass on our problems to others;
destroy intimacy;
alter our potential in society and relationships.
What psychologists know about anger:
it is normal
it is experienced by everyone
it is not something you outgrow
it is not the same thing as aggression, which is behavior (such as hitting someone) that may result in serious consequences if you cannot control your anger
it is a powerful feeling, but one you can learn to manage
There are multiple books, web sites and counselors who deal with anger management.This is a reflection of how concerning and pervasive this normal human emotion is.
DIRECT SIGNS OF ANGER:
RAISED VOICE
YELLING, CURSING
HEADACHES
STOMACHACHES
INCREASED HEART RATE
RAISED BLOOD PRESSURE
CLENCHED FISTS
RED FACE
TIGHTNESS IN THROAT/CHEST
VERBAL/PHYSICAL ABUSE
INDIRECT SIGNS OF ANGER:
CHRONIC FATIGUE
EXCESSIVE SLEEPING
ANXIETY
DEPRESSION
CRYING
MEAN OR HOSTILE JOKING
DRUG AND ALCOHOL USE
APPETITE CHANGES
INCREASED ILLNESSES
HEADACHE
MUSCLE ACHES
Long Term Health Effects
Anger is an intense emotion that produces an adrenalin rush.If an individual is chronically angry or has frequent bouts of anger, adrenalin is released often.
This constant rise of adrenalin results in a physiologic stress that decreases your immune systems ability to ward off infections.It creates both mental and physical fatigue and leads to .
